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詩集 心の風景と地下室 著作 大山いづみ 2015.11.02 Amazon
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Myself and the Earth

                         Writer:Izumi Ohyama

Izumi Ohyama Fukushima Japan
Myself and the Earth

One of the stars that is in the space far away
Once the star used to be prosperous, it was going to die out,now
This is the talk that I am living in the star
I am alone now inside the Earth
I live with my father, but have seldom seen his face
I speak with my father in a vision
Are you well? Is there anything you want to ask?


My father is working at terrestrial research institute on the earth
Boredom everyday, days without work
In other day I was bored so I went to my father
I rode a capsule up to the surface
At that time my body becomes hot
My pulse quickens


There are many interesting in my father’s working place
Earth seen from space
Solar flares
Each cross section is always depicted
Then nothing but darkness
The sound of space
In my heart my feelings are trembling
This is an emotion I don’t need
I was often told my father
But this stillness
I think it is only for me
Because this is a time requiring no thought
It is a little uninteresting for me
The data from the past discovered here
I will not release the mind in my ear
And then・・・
Steadily falling in
An excited heart with the feeling of
Something that should not be seen
My heart leaps when seeing old acquaintances
This is the feeling unfelt until now
My thought were not provoked as such until now
There has not been such a thing
To excite me and make my blood boil
And I always wondered
For what purpose was born?
Where am I headed?
Occasionally in dreams my heart is moved
And I wonder
But when I just think my reason for living
I lose track of myself
At those times I always look at past data
It is an enjoyable time when I come here
It is happiness


My father’s research is filled with unknowns
But there are things I have learned
We have not returned here for a while
When was it that I ran into my father?
Was it on my birthday?
Five or six generations earlier there was a man
Who became known、
I will never forget my father’s expression・・・
It was the first time I saw him sad
I wanted to know why that was
Were they his true feelings?
Questions came one after another
I don’t want to leave here
In my world I cannot go outside
I can only move about within this shelter
The outside air is hazardous
No work, research, or outdoor activity
From one shelter to another・・・
Well, it does not happen often
Anyway, The population became less than ten thousand
In this time
Going outside is impossible, but looking outside possible
However, there is nothing to see
There is no scenery to speak of
When compared to the past
Yes, this place is empty
Once flourishing cities turn to rubble 
Water was abundant and sunlight showered down on green foliage
Radiant mountains laid bare
Seas teaming with fish
Now there is nothing to see・・・but according to my father
An uncontrollable inferno was created and released
This world is the result
I want to know
Why are the  many buildings
So rotted away?
Why are we unable to venture outside?
Why must we make our own air to live?
Why unlike previous generations,
Do we not have strong bodies?
Why does our future look grim?
I want to know badly 
I want to know the reason that our bodies
Have enveloped so much from previous generations
Apparently it seems to me that our suffering caused the past time
I do not know whether past generations had fear or hesitation
Because of their continued growth
The level of danger
Got higher and higher
And while no one paid attention
A squirming
True fear
Was witness was us
And we stay behind from the disasters
In spite of saying serious mistakes were happened
Leave the matter unsettled
The same mistake made again and again
On the earth’s surface all living things
Refused to take a step to the future
Yes, only the people who have that part
Only those with shelter can survive
My father taught me that there is a present
Nobody knows what happened or what wrong
Other a lot of people
I do not eat the food of past generation
Once a week I put a centimeter of food in my mouth
Of cause in data,
Taste and even meaning, are nothing
Despite that I can live
Food on the surface of the earth has disappeared
Repetition is necessary in order to live
Possibly it is evolution
It is mystery
Whenever I look outside I think about how do not even know laughter
Like my previous data
A lot of trees
I want to touch them, put them in my hands
I am consumed with thought
The past was broken, this earth
Can no longer be fixed
Why is there nothing now?
Why is this earth about to end?
It is useless to think about it
One time I was hit my father
When I was about to leave the shelter
I was young and acting without thinking
My father was probably worried
Now I understand his actions
But the time, I was afraid it was difficult situation
You will die , if you go outside, ・・・you disappear
And, ”I want see mother”
I innocently said, tilting my head
At that moment the color of my father’s eyes changed
A dark purple
A deep shade
With no light
I do not think I can express that true darkness
I do not want to ever see those eyes again
As if he understood, truly
As if there was nowhere to go
So deep,and
A cold color
My mind and body frozen, shaking with that coldness
Then I wet myself
But how did this world become this way?
I wish I could go to the past and tell them
If you do not think through your actions now
Everyone will be gone
I want to tell them
When I think about that I fall asleep before realizing it
How much was undergone I wonder?
My father always focused on work
I will return under ground


I want to grow up Quickly and help my father
To be able to save the Earth・・・
I work every day
My father and I by our selves
That is normal
Until that time


Did past generations think abut,
Worry about,
The world future? ・・・


Could past generations not hear
The Earth’s cries
Tt’s pain
Did they not know anything?


What were they seeking?
I want to know what they wanted?
And that is why
I have no choice but to go
To past
And tell them
The reason for giving
Because I wanted to know I have spoken with my father many times,
Then decided
I will leave this capsule
My father might worry, nothing to tell me
He was only just looking at me
With shaking hands I hide the fear
I have never left this place
But I will pass through time and travel to the past
I suspect it will be fantastical experience
But no matter what I want to go


Meeting the people of the past
Has mix of pleasure, anticipation, and fear
A nonsensical situation
I worry that my words will not come out
My friends came to see me off
My father seemed sad and looked with eyes like before
At me
Without thin king I looked at the ground
I forced him
To look at me eyes never wanting t see me again
I am sorry
I am weak to those eyes


Then going forth to the past
I arrived in less than give minutes
Doubting my own eyes
Un like looking data
Far more beautiful
A world like I had never seen before
My heart skipped a beat and came to my eyes
I am afraid that the beat of my heart sometimes will stop
I took a deep breath
The beauty will break my heart・・・
The earth is beautiful, but not to be compared with those one
That the land wrapped with the green ・・・
Dazzling and brightly the water side
The flowing dance of light and wind
Brimming with smiling face
Power to give birth to the world
The light of a billion stars
I want t show my father this、
The anxiousness of before, somewhere
A grandness that scatters fear before
This Earth gently wraps me
It hold me
Floating in a dazed fascination
If people here knew I had come
I would become a large problem
I am from the same earth 、
But my appearance
It not the same
If what my father told me
It not managed carefully, I will not be able to return
To the people of the past
I would not appear to be from the future
But somehow the people f this time
Must be shown, the danger and peril
That they are facing
Or would be better to say
I wonder
That I pope they understand
Perhaps they will trust another person like them
In any case, I must tell them
There are things they must do
And I will tell them


Please, answer me
This beautiful world
This source of life
If it goes away
It cannot return
Never again
Will it rise
This beautiful earth, fr our sake save it


But there was no answer


Perhaps our two worlds are too different
No realization
No arrival
My cries
The cries of this earth, unheard
To the people of this moment
I cannot communicate
That feeling is seen in glimpses
My quiet and calm
Has grown heavy
My heart fells as if it will leap from my chest
I do not know if I can stand it
Normally calm, I am mattering
A request, a passionate thought
I began to notice
Things that sometimes return to me
Are unsalvageable
Is this what it means to be an adult?・・
If it is
I wish I had remained a child
When I see something frightening I want t know
My innocent play is precious
Then beloved myself
Why is that, father?
How abut you?
To become an adult you took in various information?
Unlike me, you had no heavy burdens?
You were lonely or needed anyone
By your side every time?
You did not want to warmth?
Please tell me, father. Do you think my feelings are abnormal? 
Is my heart weak? My thoughts uncertain?
Please tell me, father
Unknown emotion are planted and sad
Various emotions are playing in my heart and
Surrounding my body


I must re think
What should I do going forward
Thinking this and,
Having experienced many things
I am exhausted, and so I sleep


It is comfortable time in my dreams
I become intoxited
A wide glassland
A wind blowing, waving
Very beautifully
As if I cold see its movement
Waving with the wind
As if someone
A comforting, wonderful wind
Even a melody can almost be heard
A woman comfortably, is there,
With smiling happily face
And strong voice, facing the Earth
She sings


It was as if the woman and the Earth
Were unified as one, and the Earth was content
It was a beautiful dream ・・・My heart was healed
It was a treatment and very comforting
Perhaps what I am seeking
Is that
Now, that is what I think


However, this sun is tender, and
It serenely engulfs everything on the Earth in its embrace
I do not think my heart will be released


Grains of golden light
With silver puffs of wind collaborating together
They easily slip into my heart 
The thought up until now gently hold me without letting go
Despite this beautiful space being filled
I wonder why
People’s hearts are not be befuddled by this beauty
As if possessed
Are they searching for something else?
It does not seem that way
Those people
What do they feel
What do they see
What d they heading toward?
I do not know
Busily running around. Thinking it is fight, I laugh
Thinking that, I cry
You people of the past
Despite appearing happy
To the people of the past
Burning under the sun
Living in the darkness of the Earth
This body is made that way
The height of a small child
A head many times larger than these people
With no power, even this air, does not exist in the future
Just waiting for the end despite trying so hard
There is no time
Coming to the past I did not think 
I could change things
A present that must be accepted
I knew tat, but
I am glad came
More than anything
The reason I was born
I think I know why


My mother
What I really wanted to do was this
What I was searching for was this
You once loved ・・・this landscape


The whisper of the trees
The sings of the birds
The children of grains of light filling the sky
Insects playing their instraments
The laughter of the animals
These are carried equally by the children of the silver wind
While playing this song with the people on the Earth
You all came by, and with loud voice
All your music in welcome
In tune with the song of the Earth
At first singing alone in the grassland
By really it was with everyone
I love that about you
I have wanted to see you
Thank you, you gave splendid dream
You always live in my mind
The blood stream in my body, is inherited
The feeling, isn’t it
Why did I draw into the past the Earth
I am glad know that
Treason that tame man who do not think about the future
That is why you are loving this Earth for a long time
You want to tell us
And that is the fact through me
I think I am happy I know that


I do not afraid any more
Then, where the place father lives
I am going home・・・I ・・・
Thank you, I d not forget you, past the Earth
Our fate too disappear, but with coming here
I feel glad
I give thanks to the mother earth
Thank you mother
Good earth of the past
Perhaps by coming here
A miracle might happen for my world






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Love from Fukushima Copyright © 2012 Izumi Ohyama

izumi ohyama myself and the earth
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